A few things Dr. Colleen Cira would say in an interview:
- Know yourself. What was your parent’s relationship like? What are your insecurities? What makes you feel really vulnerable? If you don’t know these things and how they show up in your life, they’re going to show up in your relationship in a not a great way.
- Get comfy with your past. Have you been burned in a previous relationship? Watched your parents suffer through a miserable marriage? Been abused/assaulted? Despite all of these things happening in the past, they will affect your present until they are dealt with.
- Master your nervous system. Heard of your fight, flight, freeze response? If not, you need to learn about it, figure out what your triggers are and learn how to manage them once they get activated so they don’t run the show in your relationship.
- Fight! Yup, fight. Research is clear that arguments in and of themselves have no bearing whatsoever on whether couples make it or not. HOW you fight makes all the difference.
- Get away from your partner. If you’re together too much or don’t take some space when things get heated, chances are that you’ll lose track of who you are or say something you don’t mean. Getting time away from your partner allows you to stay grounded in YOU and think about what you really want to communicate during an argument.
Available for Interviews: Dr. Colleen Cira, Psy.D.
Dr. Colleen Cira received both her Masters and Doctorate from The Illinois School of Professional Psychology and is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in the State of Illinois. She’s the Founder and Executive Director of Cira Center for Behavioral Health, PC, a boutique group practice specializing in Women and Trauma with locations in Chicago and Oak Park.
She was named one of the “Top 100 Women in Chicago Making a Difference,” by Today’s Chicago Woman. Dr. Cira is a trauma and anxiety expert, clinical supervisor, writer, speaker, consultant, activist, wife, and Mommy to two little ones.
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