Available for Interviews: Dr. Alice Fong
Alice Fong, ND, is an integrative naturopathic doctor specializing in stress, integrative medicine, diet & weight loss, and is a business growth consultant for holistic healthcare providers.
What Dr. Alice Fong can say in an interview
Bullying is not a new concept to us. We hear about it often. It happens at work, in school, and even at home. Bullying can be in different forms—physical, emotional, and mental. Examples of behaviors that can be considered bullying are trolling someone online, intimidating someone in school so that he/she does what the bully wants, or repeatedly playing inappropriate jokes toward someone at work, for example.
But just how do we handle bullying?
Most bullies find pleasure in seeing their victims suffer, get threatened, or engage them in a confrontation. So the first rule, therefore, is don’t give them that pleasure.
Here are some steps to handle bullying by anyone.
- Try to Stay Neutral With Your Emotions. Bullies tend to want to get a rise out of us or upset us, but when we stay neutral, they don’t get what they want, and perhaps they might stop antagonizing us. Arguing with them only tends to heighten the emotions and is not typically productive and leaves you feeling worse. If you show these kinds of people that you aren’t affected by their negative comments, for example, they may lose interest.
- Evaluate the Situation. Reflect on the situation by asking yourself what happened, why do you think it happened, what do you think is the real intent of the other person, is it worth your time, or is there anything in that situation you can use to better yourself? Sometimes, people may have the best of intentions but they just don’t have the communication skills to convey the message without coming across as being aggressive or imposing. Or maybe there was something you have said and done that triggered the other person to react in such a way. It’s important to take a look at these things and other factors to have a better understanding of where that behavior is coming from and what you can do to address it. Most importantly, is it worth your time at all? Instead of dwelling on the negativity of that situation, is there anything that you could get out of it for the better?
- Reach Out. If you think you are mature enough to handle a difficult conversation, and the bully is mature enough to have an open dialogue, it might be worth trying to reach out and talk to the other person. Some people are just quick to come up with assumptions about someone else’s life, simply because they don’t know what is going on. Engaging in a meaningful conversation and trying to understand each other from a point of respect could well be a long-term solution to bullying. Sometimes the bully has no idea how their words and actions impact you and it’s a result of their own baggage.
- Know That You Know Your Yourself Better Than Anyone. Knowing what you are capable of and having that deep understanding of who you are can make you less vulnerable to mean comments. If you know who you are, no amount of bullying can alter who you know yourself to be. However, you need to understand that this requires you to have a better understanding of yourself—what you stand up for, your values, and what you are capable of.
Remember, bullies intend to make their victim’s lives miserable so learn to step back and filter which comments you will let in and which ones you won’t. If you can turn a terrible situation into something that can make you better, that is the best route to take. Otherwise, just let go of it, it probably isn’t worth your time.
Interview: Dr. Alice Fong
Known as the “Virtual Stress Doc,” Alice Fong, ND, helps busy professionals break free from their stress and anxiety so that they can focus on what matters to them using a 5-step holistic approach. She is the founder and CEO of Amour de Soi Wellness, which offers one-on-one wellness programs, corporate wellness workshops, e-learning, and resilience training courses.
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