Interview: Dr. Colleen Cira, Psy.D. on Ariana Grande and trauma.
Dr. Colleen Cira is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who specializes in Women and Trauma, so I’ve worked with hundreds of people trying to cope with traumatic experiences. Here are some of her talking points on celebrity Ariana Grande’s recent response to some traumatic events that she has experienced over the last couple of years.
Ariana Grande has been coping with a multitude of difficult experiences, primarily performing at a venue where a suicide bomber killed 22 people in addition to the death of her ex-boyfriend and the break-up of her engagement. There are a few things that she’s doing that are really helpful and adaptive:
1. Talking about it. Ariana seems to be frequently asked about all of these painful experiences and it seems that at least some of the time, she is actually answering these questions. When you experience a trauma, our instinct is to avoid it, which makes sense! Humans have survived and evolved as a species because we learned to stay away from things that bring us pain. And when that comes to fire, that’s a great thing! But when that comes to emotional pain, avoiding it is just about the worst thing we can do. Fighting to get rid of your emotions is kinda like being in quicksand: the harder you fight, the deeper you sink. So the fact that she’s talking about her experiences, even though that’s a difficult thing to do, is incredibly adaptive.
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This comes from a communications expert, Carol Barkes. Here are some talking points for an interview on how to be more outgoing:
1. Smile more. Sometimes being outgoing is really just being about being perceived as outgoing. A simple way to seem more approachable is to practice a genuine smile. This is a smile that activates the muscles around your eyes—not just your mouth. The easiest way to get one is by thinking of someone or something that brings you immense happiness and joy. For instance, I think of the day my son was born; it was magical. This smile generates trust in the brains of those with whom you are interacting. Our brains are always assessing whether someone is a friend or a potential threat. With a genuine smile, we seem more approachable, friendly, and outgoing.
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Interview: Dr. Colleen Cira, Psy.D.Dr. Colleen Cira is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who specializes in Trauma, and has worked with hundreds of people struggling with anxiety and phobias, including aviophobia (fear of flying).
There are several things you can do to combat your nerves around flying:
The preparation you do for your flight is more important than what you do when you’re actually on the plane! Don’t dismiss these just because they are not in the moment:
1. Imaginal rehearsal. This is the idea that you would picture in your head EXACTLY how you would want it to go. Picture in your minds eye, leaving for the airport, checking in, going through security, boarding, taking off, etc all in a perfectly calm way. Picture yourself using your tools and skills and having it go amazingly well. This is exactly what professional athletes do before big games: they set their expectations, which primes the brain to comply. Good stuff.
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This comes from a communications expert, Carol Barkes. Here are some talking points for an interview on how to negotiate medical bills:
1.Make yourself have the difficult conversation.Many times, people avoid communicating about bills that they cannot pay. This makes their position much weaker and potentially escalates the bill to a collection agency. Instead, have the difficult conversations and be honest about your capabilities to repay. Your honesty and lack of avoiding the situation will typically create a more collaborative relationship with the provider.
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