How to Effectively Resolve Conflicts For Good

Available for Interviews: Dr. Alice Fong

Alice Fong, ND, is an integrative naturopathic doctor specializing in stress, integrative medicine, diet & weight loss, and is a business growth consultant for holistic healthcare providers.

What Dr. Alice Fong can say in an interview on
How to Effectively Resolve Conflicts:

Conflict happens in our everyday lives. Some are serious while others are just petty misunderstandings rather than full-blown conflicts. However, it is important to note that most full-blown and serious conflicts often start from small, seemingly less important ones. And once conflicts have reached levels that are already difficult to manage, many aspects of our lives become casualties—relationships, physical and mental health, and even the way we interact with others.

So how do you effectively resolve conflict?
Are there general and proven-effective techniques for conflict resolution?

• • Listen to understand, not to respond. When you are in any kind of conversation, it’s easy to become too focused on what to say next especially in an argument. This habit of not paying attention to the other person can further escalate tensions. So pause, and understand what the other person is saying. Just listen to what is being said, how it is being said, and pay attention to the other persons’ actions/gestures. This will give you a better understanding of the message.
  • Empathize. Now, this you hear very often, but what do we really mean by empathy? Empathy is not as simple as saying, “I understand how you feel.” To empathize means to be able to genuinely put yourself into the other person’s predicament, and is non-judgmental. It doesn’t seek to identify whether the other person is right or wrong. It only seeks to understand that each person is unique and will react or look at things based on their own personal experience and circumstances. Look at it as a matter of acceptance.
  • Let them know you understand. So this is technically still related to empathy, but I decided to write it separately so it gets the attention it deserves. Understanding the other person is one thing, and being able to let that other person know that you understand them, is another. Here’s the thing about letting people know you understand, you don’t always say it. Most of the time, just paying attention will be enough. Sometimes words are not enough to express things, and these are times when your actions can do so much more.
  • Establish facts. As you might have noticed, the first three points deal with emotions. There’s a reason why I mentioned them first. You see, in conflicts or even in simple misunderstandings, emotions play an important role. Conflicts are probably about 90% emotion and 10% fact. Once emotions have been addressed, you will be in a better position to establish facts and focus on them alone. And by focus, this includes not digging into past conflicts or situations unless they will help in resolving the conflict. Another important action you should take in conflict resolution is to always clarify. It’s really easy for miscommunication to happen during conflicts because both parties have the tendency to let emotions drive their actions.