Carol Barkes is a conflict resolution expert, mediator, national speaker, educator and bestselling author who uniquely applies neuroscience to the fields of conflict resolution and negotiations. Her expert perspective is always fresh and relevant.
Some Talking Points from Carol Barkes on
How to Let Go of the Past:
1. Our brain embeds what we focus on.
Consequently, if we stay rooted in the past, so does our brain. Instead, when you find yourself go back over the past, stop yourself and change your thinking to be future focused. We are the only animal which has the ability to observe our thoughts. Consequently, we are given a huge gift of being about to notice our thoughts. Take advantage of that.
2. There is a great quote, “Don’t look back. You aren’t going that way.” When we look at the past, we often look at “should haves” and “if I had only,” etc. We can do absolutely nothing to change the past, but we can change the present. Keep your thoughts to thinks you can control and let go of the things that weren’t so great. At that time, everyone involved did the best they knew how to in that moment. Now you can do better—so do so.
3. Reframe your negative thinking into positive thinking. Often times our thinking about the past is negative and that is harmful to the brain. In fact, too much negativity can kill brain cells. Instead, look at the past and find ways to spin things that happened as positive. For instance, missed opportunities likely created new opportunities that would have not been available with other decisions. Everything you previously experienced, good or bad, prepares you with gifts for something you can do now or in the future. Leverage those gifts.
Available for Interviews:Carol Barkes
Carol Barkes, CPM, is a trend-setting mediator, business executive and educator specializing in the use of neuroscience to improve business performance, interpersonal communications, negotiation and conflict resolution processes for optimally successful results. She is also a speaker, educator, and author of the bestselling book: Success Breakthroughs.
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