Negotiation Tips to Succeed With Anyone

Here are some practical communication strategies from our expert, Carol Barkes, MBA, CPM, on negotiation:

Remember the Acronym A.I.A:

A = Awareness: pay attention to how you are intuitively feeling. Notice if you are starting to get stressed. If you are, take some time to deep breathe (yawning is even better), stretch, tap or walk. This is all about getting oxygen to your brain and stopping the continual release of stress hormones.

I = Intentions: Remember what your intentions are for this mediation. If you want it to be collaborative, don’t take the bait if the other party throws out some competitive or judgmental statements.

A = Actions: What actions do you need to take to keep the negotiation on track?

Even if the other party is aggressive, you can still be a strong negotiator by having control of your emotions and reactions. In fact, the person who keeps the most control of their emotions tends to prevail in negotiations. Studies have shown that a calm, even keel demeanor is the best combination with an aggressive negotiator, as they are typically able to eventually calm the aggressor down rather than further launch them.

Demands are what we say we want (a certain amount of money, full custody of the kids, etc) while Interests are what our underlying needs are (security, a healthy lifestyle for the kids, etc). When we focus on and express our needs rather than demands, there are typically far more options for successfully negotiating any matter. If we focus on demands, there are typically only two outcomes: you win or they win.

We tend to talk over people in negotiations by using far too many words, talking too fast and not listening. Introverts by nature can have the tenancy to use less words and can be more observant of the other parties non-verbal cues. These are great advantages.

Available for Interviews: Carol Barkes

Carol Barkes is a trend-setting mediator, business executive and educator specializing in the use of neuroscience to improve business performance, interpersonal communications, negotiation and conflict resolution processes for optimally successful results. She is also a speaker, educator, and author of the bestselling book: Success Breakthroughs.

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